str8 people doin some dumb shit as usual
i hate it when you accidentally pick off a bit of dead skin on your lip and you can’t stop until you’ve peeled your entire face off
let’s stop making jokes about girls and start making jokes about white boys
here i’ll start
*white boy voice* chill out man it was just a joke
[walks into class 10 minutes late with a can of Monster] sorry I’m late I got frontpage on Reddit
[wipes cheeto dust off onto cargo shorts] so if you support gender equality does that mean it’s ok to hit women now?
life hack: take the person you despise the most and turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then put that flea in a box, and then put that box inside of another box, and then mail that box to yourself, and when it arrives sMASH IT WITH A HAMMER
"This isnt a project that you will be able to do the night before"
"I’m 12% Irish, 16% German, 30% Italian, 24% French, 15% Swedish, 3% Cherokee…"
the most important thing I’ve learned since this post got popular is that nothing offends white Americans more than pointing out that they’re a white American
Harry explaining his first date deal breakers + and then later apologizing:
CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!??
*teacher voice* i dont know, can you?
*sighs* “MAY I get a hell yeah?”
*teacher voice* you should have gotten a hell yeah during the break before class started
*frustrated groan* But I didn’t NEED a hell yeah during the break
why can’t i feel my fACE I’M IN A LECTURE HALL
i was so much prettier before i got to college
…you missed a spot.
Yes, hi I’m under arrest.